Gov to spend £50B on a tax toilet big enough to hide all tax dodgers in

LCD Views can reveal an exciting development in the world of tax avoidance this evening with the exhilarating news that the government is to spend £50BN on a tax toilet big enough to hide all the tax avoiders in at once.

The startling development comes after Conservative Lord Burninghouse was forced to take sanctuary in a W.C. to get away from traitorous so called reporters who wanted to ask him unjust questions about his tax arrangements.

We spoke to a representative from the newly formed government department, Ministry for Making Hay and Getting Away with It, or MFMHGAWI, to learn more.

“We can’t have upfront and patriotic Lords of the realm like Lord Burninghouse having to put up with more lords and mps and party donors jamming themselves in with him as the revelations of the paradise papers continue. It’s inhuman. It’s probably a breach of his human rights and we should probably take this all the way to the EU court of human rights. Wait. Is that treason?”

Work on the giant toilet is expected to start as soon as midnight with builders brought in from all over the continent of Europe to make sure the job is completed by dawn.

“Clearly such skilled labour won’t need visas in a time of special interests like this. Either now or in the future.”

The expense of the toilet is expected to be so hard on the public purse because tax avoidance is what is totally demolishing certain democracies in the West, no, wait, it needs to be the size of a football field and have rare ivory and virgin gold taps.

“It’s going to be a total win for the construction industry. Just imagine being one of the 1% allowed inside and never really paying a dime while the pathetic working class pay for the roads you drive on and the public utilities you enjoy?”

Just imagine it. Taking your trousers down and knowing you don’t think there’s a god damned thing the great unwashed can do to keep you out of your special tax toilet, then take a dump on them. Joy!

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