Brexit Dad told to get over it after losing at Monopoly

Brexit Dad Figel Narage was upset after playing the festive board game with his children. His daughter, Figella, bankrupted him and started gloating.

Narage’s son, Figel junior, dropped out of the game early on and joined forces with his sister. Their success was a surprise. Brexit Dad held the better cards, but was stung for street repairs and sent to jail. Then an unlucky Chance card sent him to Figella’s hotel on Trafalgar Square and that was that. “We won, you lost!” chanted the children. “Get over it!”

Narage’s wife, Krystyna, wandered over to see what the fuss was about. “It’s not fair, love,” he moaned. “I’m sure they must have cheated or something. Make us a cuppa, would you?”

“Stop moaning, and get over it,” she retorted. “The Will Of The Children must be obeyed. Anyway, there’s no tea.”

“Why not?” wailed Figel.

“It’s not native to Britain,” she snapped. “So you banned it, remember?”

“Can I have a Coke, mum?” Figella asked.

“No, darling, it’s American. Have a pint of bitter instead,” said Krystyna. “Figel, clear up that mess the winners have left for you. Figella, could you offer your Dad a second referendum – I mean round of Monopoly – just to keep the peace? What do you think? Cheer your Dad up?”

“Nah, he’s a bad loser,” sneered Figella. “I know he would probably win if we played again. But there’s no point. We won. There’s no Get Out Of Jail Free card!”

Figella and Figel junior found, however, that their remaining entertainment options were severely limited. Their phones had been confiscated for being Korean. Their Nintendo had been sent back to Japan whence it came. Even chess was banned as it originally came from India. But nothing could persuade them that a second round of Monopoly was necessary.

Figel senior himself stumped off in anger to create his own Brexit-themed board game. I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Cluedo will be in the shops in time for Christmas.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *