Middle aged Tories mocking millennials reminded that in 20 years time they’ll be using an app to turn off your life support

LCD Views has been chosen by the Institute for Elder Studies, a Washington based think tank, to remind middle aged people that,

”…in 20 years time, or less, the millennials they’re busy mocking will be using an app to decide whether or not to turn off your life support.

“We here at the IES do not believe middle aged, and older people, should be ripping the piss out of millennials too hard,” Professor Suez Crisis warms.

“It’s no surprise young people are obsessed with Snapconversation, Instaletter and other platforms newer than Facepamphlet.

We’ve given them climate change, Brexit, Trump, Cold War 2.0 “the reboot”, increasing automation of jobs, and with all the complete televised garbage we’ve been beaming out into the galaxy for decades, there’s an increasing degree of probability that aliens will just nuke us all from space, just to be sure.”

The likelihood of aliens destroying humanity to save them from another season of Celebrity Big Brother aside, the warning is a timely one.

“You might think that video sketch you’re sharing on Facepamphlet is just a light hearted giggle aimed at millennials, but,”

Here’s the but,

“So many of you have helicopter parented and validated your offspring to such a degree that the slightest personal criticism they receive, the event of hearing a solid ‘no’, will likely turn them into genicidal, euthanizing crazy people.

I’d cut the jokes, or at least add a fulsome apology for melting the ice caps along with the Snaptalk gag.”

On the plus side, it’s just as likely millennials won’t be using a app to turn off the life support systems of their parents and grandparents in the future, because they’ll all have become orgy crazed holograms existing only in cyberspace.

“We could get lucky,” Professor Suez shrugs, “there’s not one technological advance that hasn’t instantly been used for porn.

Silicone Valley might save us with holoporn before it allows furious millennials to kill us with euthan-appChat.”

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