Theresa May was forced to clarify, during PMQ’s today, that the NHS is not in crisis, but in an “orderly and managed decline” and further, the “NHS will no longer have a winter crisis once we have a successful crisis all the time.”
The frank admission of the classic Thatcherite method for looking after publicly funded institutions, built over decades of public investment and effort, into a parlour state to be sold off for a fraction of their holistic value, was welcomed by traders.
“I’ve been telling my clients hold off,” Mr A S.S. Stripper told LCD Views,
“you don’t want to go rushing that cash back from Panama too soon, just to find a piece of the NHS pie is going out the door even cheaper, if you’d been a little more patient.
What’s the point of going to all the effort and expense of avoiding tax, if you’re too hasty to ‘reinvest’ in your future.”
Timing is key to any investment strategy and we advise our readers to follow Mr. A. S. S’s. advice and hold the line, not only while waiting for treatment at any A&E.
“It’ll all be there for the taking. Pay on the nail style. Just wait until 2019. The good news is it won’t matter which major party is the party of government either, assuming both stay committed to Brexit,” Mr A S. S. continued.
It’s sound advice.
With any luck Chris ‘Midas touch’ Grayling will have lumbered across to health secretary before long and the contracts available will best be described as,
“Plums. Juicy. Ripe plums. Low to the ground. Easy to pick. Worded so you can get public subsidies if things get sticky and sue the public purse if your luck runs out, because you siphoned off the tax dollar back to Panama too quick. Around and around.”
The only risk is if the entire May government is in managed decline.
“No fear on that score,” Mr A. S. S. added, “no one is managing anything in May’s show. Curtains to close any time. And that’s not a problem as another publicly committed Quitter is next in line!”