President Trump has lashed out at Donald Trump today and savaged him for not acting on clear warnings about the danger posed to all by President Trump.
”Donald Trump is not fit to be president,” President Donald Trump slammed Donald Trump.
”Not only does he take photos with his thumbs up and grinning like the deranged clown we know he is with first responders to America’s latest school shooting, but he then tries to use the horrific murder of children in his increasingly desperate attempts to malign the FBI?
Only a self absorbed narcissistic, tub thumping, criminally minded lunatic would use the grief of families for political ends barely a day after the event.”
It’s not clear how Donald Trump will respond to the take down of Donald Trump by someone thought to be his greatest admirer, but twitter is said to be preparing for a battery of self justification and insults in the early hours of the morning.
”We can’t do anything about Donald Trump, even when he retweets fabricated racist videos,” a representative for the social media platform sighed, “did you see we actually made a profit in the last quarter of last year?
That’s thanks to the insane rankings of Donald Trump and all the new users who have joined the network to take him on.
He’s the golden goose, well, at least until he is arraigned in court sometime before Christmas this year.”
But Donald Trump does have his defenders.
The NRA, a profitable fun lobby group, has been quick to leap to the defence of Donald Trump in the face of Donald Trump’s attacks.
”How many dead kids is a profitable foundation myth worth? A lot, that’s how many. It’s a faith based argument and it is worth billions.
Sure other developed countries had a few little massacres and decided to get rid of the semi-automatics, while still leaving actual hunting rifles to those who require them. and have had virtually no mass shootings since, but how are those people going to fight the airforces and cruise missiles of a rogue government without military grade rifles?
There’s no correaltion and my conscience is buffered by my faith and my share portfolio. Because I’m worth it.”
Asked what a patriot should do if they feel themselves tempted by the most screamingly obvious way to stop insane teenage boys from mass murdering children, the rep had this to say,
”I’ll tell you what you should do,” he advised, “don’t go to YouTube and look up that video of the guy attempting the mass shooting with the height of rifle tech when the 2nd was written.
It could ruin your day with a logic bomb. And we all know how deadly they are!
And don’t let Trump see it, it’ll confuse the hell out of him. He’ll think it’s an advert for Diet Coke and he’ll be livid when there’s no girls in bikinis by the end.”
Asked what he intended to do about Donald Trump, given he is clearly unhinged and dangerous, and prevention would be better than cure, Donald Trump said,
”Probably apply for political asylum in Russia. Or maybe declare Mar-a lago a republic. I haven’t decided yet, do you know when the FBI is planning to arrest him? Check Hilary’s emails. It’s all in there.
It took about 18months to bring down Nixon, so the clock is ticking.”