Brexit High Command has released a new device into the debate over the United Kingdom’s possible departure from the European Union called the ‘absolute confusion cluster bomb’.
“We had to step up our game of pigeon chess to a level not seen before,” Brexit weapons specialist, Doctor A Narchy, told LCD Views.
Why? Throwing scat about like a monkey with gastro has served you so well on social media, MSM and in parliament so far?
”Yes, but too many of our opponents have worked out that all our arguments are total bollocks that can be countered by a brief google on the subject to hand.
Our bot farms are getting closed, now that the gods who run Facebook and Twitter have finally had their attention dragged back to the earthly realm.
Our “thinktanks” are under investigation for breaches of electoral spending rules, and we’re having to set fire to them and run to new ones.
Our swagger over making trades deals after Brexit has been torpedoed by Trump and his tariff war.
Our projection of global might and power has been shown as a delusion. The first security issue that comes up as we shout ‘go whistle’ at the EU has seen us frantically phoning up the EU.
We can’t solve the Irish Border issue. Everyone can see that now. Keep the DUP happy so the Tories can stay in power (the only thing of importance in governing the U.K.) and you risk a return to violence. Don’t keep the DUP happy and we can’t bully parliament.
Corbyn is no bloody help.
He keeps spouting jobs first Brexit.
But we’re already doing his jobs first Brexit.
The jobs are going right now. Brexit will follow thereafter.
Although it’s good of him to tow the populist alt-truth line on Brexit. But he can only do that until Nissan pulls out of England. And that day is fast approaching…the Japanese keep warning us and no one is listening.
We don’t have the physical space for customs infrastructure at Dover, or anywhere else, so we can take back control of our borders.
It’s a bloody mess. Which is weird as, given all the care and planning that went into Brexit.
There is no way the leaders of both Labour and the Conservatives would have whipped their MPs to vote through the article 50 legislation unless the country was ready to do it.
The only other explanation is that they are either incompetent or pursuing an ideological agenda that ignores reality in its fervour. And that can’t be right.
So we’re a bit stumped if I’m honest. Radio 4 Today programme is run by a mate of Murdoch and Banks and little Liam, so that’s useful. It’s basically a hard right propaganda mouthpiece now with a bunch of aged, empire nostalgia freak men doing their best, but…”
So you’ve gone for a total cognitive dissonance device?
”Yes. So long as everyone ignores that trade is governed by rules and laws agreed internationally, we will succeed.
We’ve abandoned all our other promises and assurances and claims, why not take back control? Fiendishly clever.
Take back control is now throw away all control. It’s perfect.
And remember if someone mentions the Irish Border blame the EU for wanting to impose one. Ignore that May agreed a backstop nothing changes last December.”
Thats all a little confusing.
”We want confusion and anarchy. That’s where we will make the most money.
Remember, Brexit is a hard right tax dodging disaster capitalist’s agenda utilising nationalism and racism as motivators and deadly smokescreens.
And remember you’re the bad guys now.
You want control of our borders and only a lunatic wants that. You must all be xenophobes!”
No, I want nothing to change. Reform where needed. Consultation and evolution. But I want to stay in the single market and the customs union as that is the only answer to seamless, free flowing trade.
”Thats exactly what I want. So we agree.”
This is just confusing.
”It’s supposed to be.”