Brexit is finally taking its turn in the spotlight today as Brexiters cast around for someone else to blame for the certainty of Brexit achieving catastrophic results economically, socially, culturally and digestively if it is delivered (like the dirty nappy off a bawling baby Satan left in a filthy, rusting out toilet on an Arriva Trains Wales toilet).
LCD Views spoke to prominent Brexiter, Sauron, to learn why it’s now Brexit’s fault that Brexit is certain to be a complete and total shitshow, and not actually the fault of Brexiters like himself?
“It’s undermining May’s negotiating hand for one,” Sauron blazed, big eye swivelling on top of his tower.
You seem distracted? Are you looking for something? Or someone?
“Of course I am looking for something, I’m always looking for something!”
What?
“A benefit of Brexit!”
There’s no need to shout.
“There’s always a need to shout! Time is running out!”
But surely Brexit, being an ill defined political project, is not at fault, given it can’t define itself?
“Yes it can! Brexit means Brexit!”
That’s just a slogan.
“Well, whose fault could it possibly be that Brexit is sabotaging itself, if not Brexit for acting so bloody recklessly with it’s own planning and implementation? Have you seen what the Japanese car industry is saying about Brexit?! Brexit sucks at making people see they need it more than it needs them! It winds me right up!”
Perhaps it’s the fault of the people who have spent, in some cases, decades arguing that we should Brexit, while doing nothing whatsoever to plan for doing just that?
“Remoaner!”
That’s it? Just insults?
“Stop undermining Brexit! Get behind it and push!”
I will.
“Ha! All will kneel beneath Brexit!”
I’ll get behind Brexit along with tens of millions of other Britons and push it right into the fires of Mount Doom.”
“You lost! Get over it!”
I see this discussion is going the way discussions with Brexiters always do. Thank you for your time.
“It’s undemocratic to vote all the time!”
Thank you for your time.