Jeremy Corbyn has been advised to order a bicycle courier for later this week to ferry his few meagre belongings to 10 Downing Street.
The advice comes after Labour are certain to triumph in the looming No Confidence vote in Theresa May’s shambolic and vicious administration.
In spite of rent-a-gobs, baffled BBC journalists and Twitterati blithely assuming the government will easily put down the No Confidence motion and carry on doing whatever it is they’re doing, the stars are aligning for a different outcome.
“Mercury is in the ascendant and Pluto is beside the fire hydrant,” our political mystic advises, after gazing at the stars high on meth during the night, “and the Tory Party will not let go this dazzling chance to save themselves.”
Save themselves by passing the flaming can of Brexit shite over to someone as deluded as most of themselves?
“That’s right,” mystic meth replies, “Jeremy ‘Castro’ Corbyn will have his chance to go to Brussels and shout cake.”
How’s that going to work out for him?
“You don’t need me to tell you that.”
But doesn’t it mean he has to orchestrate either revocation of Article 50 and the enduring scorn of his revolutionary chums, or the destruction of the United Kingdom as we know it?
“Yes. The Tories maybe incredibly cruel and sociopathic, but they’re not stupid.”
So carry the can and pass the parcel.
“And if Corbyn isn’t careful he’ll be the one left standing when the music stops.”
Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.