All round loveable bear of the British countryside (he owns thousands of acres, but why?) and man who specialises in cleaning up on worker’s conditions and advantageous tax regimes, James Dyson, has spoken exclusively to someone tonight, who spoke to us.
“I can confirm I suck,” Mr Dyson, reportedly (we have no confirmation, other than his actions), told someone, “and my actions blow harder than my hand dryers.”
The reason for the bold statement is the way in which James Dyson, a hot air pusher for Brexit, has decided to act faced with the near fulfilment of a political exercise he has done so much to promote.
“Of course I’m getting out of dodge,” he said, apparently, “what sucker would be stuck in Brexit Britain? And besides, with the business friendly environment in Singapore, and the FTA between Singapore and the EU, I’ll do well to be positioned there to both use my massive wealth to seize opportunities in post Brexit fire sale Britain, and sell my totally hygienic, new fangled machines into the EU. That’s a market of a half a billion people. Not many people know that. But a canny businessman like me sure does.”
Other people have speculated that even though Dyson is getting his business out of soon to be broken Britain, not exactly an act of faith in the future, he has deeper personal motives for all his actions.
“These ego driven billionaires hate the EU because they can’t bully it,” Common Sense told us, “so they try and tear it down to satisfy their vainglorious view of their own omnipotence, while simultaneously, privately, using their wealth and connections to insure themselves against the calamity they’re trying to visit on the every day working man and woman.”
So we know who blows hot air about Brexit. We know who is getting out of town (all the Brexiters) and we damn sure to all hell know who the suckers are if Brexit actually happens…