Seances for Brexit – government moves to ensure dead Brexiter’s voices get heard

Great news for living democracy today with the announcement that the Tory government is making moves to ensure that the relentless march of time, and corresponding mortality, doesn’t stop the voices of ardent, Daily Mail Reading Brexiters go unheard.

”Downing Street has ordered an entire new ministry be created,” Mr Tilnpot Teapot-Heating-Harrass MP (for Leether-on-Wings), told LCD Views pseudo science correspondent, “and I’m to run it, even if I die!”

The Ministry for Immortal Democracy will initially only have a modest budget of £350m per week, but there are plans to expand rapidly.

”I’ll stretch those taxpayer pounds to death,” the newly created Secretary for Death (he’s already nicknamed) told us, “what with half the aunts in my family being amateur spiritualists. I’ll get them all on the payroll for a good price. Performance related pay even, even if you’re no longer breathing you’ll still get paid!”

But while the move to create the ministry is just sensible governance, in the event of a second EU referendum, a so called People’s Vote on the actual state Brexit is in, the move hasn’t been without serious debate.

”Certain undemocratic forces within parliament are suggesting that not just Brexiters should be enfranchised beyond the grave, but remoaners who have passed over since the 23rd June 2016, but we haven’t been able to hear their voices since the referendum nearly three years ago, why should we hear them now?”

LCD Views would like to commend the government on moving to gerrymander the afterlife, for not only the imagination required, but the sensible use of public funds that may otherwise have gone to prevent the ranks of the dead voters swelling more slowly.

”We already zombies voting in the House of Commons!” the minister added, “now an overwhelming majority of the undead will be reassured they’ll be heard long after they’ve gone to the grave!”

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