LCD Views has breaking news this morning about ladies who dine with the shock revelation that British prime minister Arlene Foster played an impromptu call on her underling Theresa May last Friday night.
”It’s believed Theresa had just gotten cosy by the roaring fire at Chequers, to discuss a cunning plan with Mr May, to do with how PM announcements impact on currency fluctuations on the exchanges, and who should and should not be possibly privy to when the speeches will be made, in order to call yourself a healthy democracy. when there was a knock at the door.”
The knock was from the hardened knuckles of one of Northern Ireland’s more puritanical British subjects, and her husband.
”They brought some other people along too. It was set to be quite the unplanned party.”
Ms May was said to be somewhat flustered as her cunning plan for the evening fell apart.
”You think she’d be used to that by now. Every cunning plan she puts into action falls apart. She only keeps her job because no one else wants it until she’s delivered the pay off. And then she’ll be hung out to dry faster than a wet pair of nun’s knickers.”
It must be hard to know which way to turn some days for Ms May. Does she work for Rupert Murdoch still? Or is it now the DUP? Or do they have the office of PM on a timeshare?
So what happened?
”The DUP Whiteadders came in and the Downing Street Blackadders sat them down to dinner. It was a little frosty to start, but once conversation turned to burying evidence of massive data crimes, and hiding sources of dark money, the atmosphere soon become positively chummy. To these characters that sort of chat is like extra strong alcohol.”
And what did they dine on?
”A giant British turnip shaped exactly like a thingy. Ms May’s dog’s body, Rory Stewart, had spent all their money on it!”
Which, when you think about it, is exactly what the U.K. is doing to achieve Brexit.
“Yes. Allowing the government to spend every last penny we have on a giant vegetable in the shape of a willy! What are we like?”