LCD Views can report on a great leap forwards for normalising electoral crime in the UK today with the tabling of a cross party amendment relating to what lives and breathes in Brexit.
The amendment, nicknamed ‘Fill the Swamp’, has been tabled jointly by Brexit supporting Tory and Labour MPs, who are gaily going about their taxpayer funded business day in and day out, while ignoring massive amounts of electoral crime.
“It’s vital that we clarify this point so political parties, and pressure groups funded by dark money from overseas, know what the goal posts are for any future moment when the British people maybe asked to vote,” Mr Fool Rorty, MP for Blinkers-on-Bonkers, told us,
“my amendment, which has backing on both sides of the house, will clarify just how much electoral crime is needed to equal ‘will of the people’?”
It’s expected speaker John Bercow will choose the amendment for debate today, after the MPs supporting it surrounded his house on all sides with catapults.
“It’s easy enough to find dead cows to fire at houses if you bother to spend a little time with a shotgun in the countryside,” Mr Rorty told us, “I can’t see any reason why the amendment, which aims to crystallise what amounts to representative democracy in a modern United Kingdom, won’t be chosen for debate.”
But even if Bercow concedes to the threat of aerial bovine attack, ‘Fill the Swamp’ is facing opposition from certain members of the ERG.
“They’re not happy with the detail,” Mr Rorty shrugs, “but when do they ever do detail? Why the hell do the BBC often announce their full name as if it has any validity at all? What evidence of them doing any research, except for how to stage a far right coup, has anyone ever seen?”
Fair questions. But what’s their issue with fill the swamp?
“Oh, they say they can’t support it unless it includes an amnesty for any elected member of the house and their backers who may, just may, be found to be implicated in electoral crime now, or in the future, once the public inquiries into what the hell happened between 2016 to now have begun.”