Wear it with pride! New law forces people who step in dog poo to respect the result

A new law comes into force today to stop people getting sticks and scraping out dog mess from the treads on their children’s trainers, nicknamed the ‘Wear it with pride!’ law.

”The New law forces people who unwittingly step in dog poo to respect the result,” any Brexit backing MP told LCD Views,

“it doesn’t matter that the walk to the park was pitched as an enlivening experience in the sunlit outdoors, with a clear path along the pavement to a meadow like field,

“And the path is pretty much paved in dog mess, so thick with it it’s impossible to step in-between piles, and when you get to the park it’s a burning chasm that appears to be a gateway to hell with only a collection of Nigel Farage’s at the bottom of it,

“You must respect the result of the dog mess you tread in to get to the burning mouth of damnation.”

But what was wrong with the time honoured method of dealing with such calamities of stopping, finding a way to clean it up, and then ignoring the smell long enough for it to dissipate?

“The way we did things before disrespected the feelings of people who either weren’t paying attention sufficiently to clean up after their pooch as they soiled the community, or in some cases, were petty and mean spirited enough not to care. Why shouldn’t it be someone else’s problem to clean up quite some time after you’ve walked away with your dog?”

This doesn’t sound like a good foundation for a big society.

“Oh, this is exactly what the big society was intended to be.”

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