May and Corbyn say they can’t address EU ref crimes because ‘they don’t know the post code’

LCD Views can report deeply reassuring news today for worried voters. Anyone mildly anxious about the integrity of the British democratic system, because of the mountain of proven criminality in the EU ref, can rest assured that the most senior figures in British politics will address the criminality, just as soon as they find the post code.

“It’s a right puzzle,” a spokesmen for the front bench, cross party consensus on respecting the swill of the people, told LCD Views,

“we’ve tried looking it up the old fashioned way, in the phone book, but it’s not there. The post code that is, the proven criminality is all through the news day after day. But that in no way invalidates the result of the advisory referendum which was magically transformed into an unstoppable political imperative the moment the result (of the criminal interference) was announced.”

Why the proven criminality is proving so hard to address for the most powerful leaders in the UK’s politics is still a head scratcher though?

“We could be honest and say we respect the result of the referendum crimes, because it fits our personal, ideological objectives, but we think the ‘people’ are so dumb, we don’t see the point in saying that.”

But just how much criminality needs to be proven by Brexit campaigns for this to become a political problem for the leaders of the main political parties?

“Oh, this is a new kind of politics,” the spokesman clarified, “where you only address the injustices that you perceive benefit you politically to do so, if you’re on the left, and if you’re on the right you’re just relieved you can do it all now out in the open. And besides, everyone is almost certainly shredding the evidence as fast as they can. Which is nice.”

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