Room in Hell reserved for Brexiters revealed as the one in which you can only speak the truth

LCD Views can confidently report the nature of Brexiter Hell. Extensive research reveals that Old Nick has recently added a tenth circle exclusively for Brexiters. This circle applies retribution to hardened liars.

Our contact revealed that the door to the tenth circle of Hell is numbered 101.

Documents so detailed that no living Brexiter would bother to read them reveal that victims will be obliged to read documents so detailed that no living Brexiter would bother to read them.

Attention to detail will be mandatory, as well as reaching a fully reasoned conclusion.

There will be a corner containing Jacob Rees-Mogg’s nanny, where unworldly oddball posh boys with strangely named children receive their punishment. Those of the second circle (Lust) persuasion will be forced to watch but forbidden to touch.

The tenth circle will be festooned with EU flags. In fact, all clothing, bedsheets and other fabrics will be made of blue cloth decorated with rings of golden stars.

Dead unicorns will fester, eternally, around every corner. Next to the unicorns will stand interviewers intent on forensically interviewing Brexiters.

The worst offenders will have to walk down a dreary run-down provincial high street. They will be compelled to donate huge sums of precious sterling to beggars, and invite homeless migrants to dinner.

Already Brexiters are objecting to joining the Satanic Union. They are surreptitiously shifting their assets into the eighth circle, Fraud, while secretly pledging loyalty to the ninth circle, Treason.

Negotiations with Lucifer himself about leaving the Union have already been opened, but have stalled permanently. This is because ‘we won the referendum’ is the only true statement available to the Brexiters.

Instead, Lucifer is advocating even closer integration. He is suggesting that the fourth circle (Avarice) and the fifth (Sloth) merge into the tenth. Brexiters are upset because Lucifer is simultaneously deadly serious and taking the Mickey.

Oh, and big red buses will be totally banned.

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