A little english public servant, first noted for her outreach work with immigrant communities in the UK, and now for her pivotal role in the Brexit negotiations, is to celebrate World Book Day by removing a foreign language book from her local library.
The removal will be done as part of a media exercise at a Maidenhead library and broadcast across the Channel.
“The broadcast is a way of showing the EU how serious she is about achieving her aims in the negotiations, whether or not the EU knows we are still negotiating,” an aide to the woman told LCD Views, “if they want famous French books to stay in the libraries we haven’t yet closed, then they bet start talking turkey.”
But scandal has already overwhelmed the ceremony, while it is still in the final stages of planning.
“Some are complaining that she was supposed to be removing ‘Crime and Punishment’ by Dostoyevsky as a way of showing the Russians they can’t meddle in our affairs,” the aide continued, “but some said that choosing that psychoanalytical study of how a man becomes a criminal as a target to thumb our nose eastwards is missing the point of the book entirely. I personally thought it was a good choice. Crime and punishment don’t go together under this Conservative government, especially if it’s politicians alleged to have engaged in electoral crime. But I was over ruled.”
We at LCD Views would like to commend the choice of a French book as it shows Brussels what we intend for the future of the country. A country that only needs to speak English because that’s all the world speaks.
Our only quibble is that it’s an English translation she is removing because removing one in the original French would have been more fitting, although admittedly more pointless, given only half of dozen of us possess the skills to read it.