10 Downing Street installs new door better suited to Prime Minister’s real stature

10 Downing Street has been forced to deny this afternoon that the newly installed door at the address is for the use of Larry the cat.

“It’s for the prime minister,” a Downing Street spokesman demanded, “she didn’t need that great, big, hulking old door and it’s irritating everyone having to open and close it constantly as she rushes in and out, off to Brussels and then tearing back with her tail all puffed up, but clearly in a terror, so we’ve given her a door she can use whenever she likes.”

The revelation that the prime minister has also been fitted with a collar containing a radio transmitter has nothing at all to do with how frequently she loses her way, daily.

“It’s so only she can use the cat door, I mean, the new door for the personal use of the prime minister, as befits her status and stature, it emits a signal that tells the door to unlock and let her in, or out, or turn all about.”

The collar itself has been well disguised, as it looks like a ship anchor, just like the power chains the prime minister usually heaves about the place.

But security experts are concerned with the new door and perceive a risk to her personal security.

“Sooner or later her and Larry the cat are going to have a scrap over who gets to go through the door first and neither species have a great reputation for listening to other people’s points of view. I can’t see Larry backing down first, can you?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *