Great news for the bumbling boofhead of British politics today after noted statesman Roderick Spode, and some wizards, cleared him of promoting community cohesion.
”Boris stokes division for personal, political gain,” the chairman of the independent panel of fascists and idiots said, reading from their own official finding, “uses cheap, racist tropes under the cover of just being funny and cashes the cheques.”
The finding of Spode and the wizards builds on the work of the um, ah, independent panel convened independently by the Conservative Party, after Boris used islamophobic jokes to score some cheap political gain with the gammon some months back.
The fact that a noted Tory grandee was on the panel should not detract from perception of just how independent it was. If they call it a rose, it’s a rose, even if it smells like bullshit.
But the Spode committee added extra advice to their own judgements.
”It’s all very well to inflame community tensions at a time when dark money is funding far right political projects world wide,” their report continued, “it actually helps those projects, that tax dodged cash get more bang for its buck. But…”
It’s not all praise?
”We expect Boris to do more. We expect him to lead a march on a scale similar to Farage’s noted people movements and call for segregation and mass deportations of anyone who isn’t as blonde as Boris. He needs to step it up a gear if he wants to be fuhrer after Britain falls into the autocratic arms of Brexit.”
Dont forget, Boris is just being Boris, as respectful and tolerant to minority communities as he’s been to pledges of fidelity and truth in general. An independent panel has decided.