Theresa May to re-record Cher hit ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’

It seems you can’t move for covers and re-recordings of classic songs these days, but the latest such announcement comes with a peculiar twist.

The Prime Minister herself (at least she still is at the time of writing) is recording a cover version of Cher’s hit “If I Could Turn Back Time”, dedicated to Andrea Leadsom, her main rival for leadership of the conservative party back in 2016 after David Cameron resigned.

The chorus has undergone a slight lyrical change:

If I could turn back time, if I could change it all
I’d let you take charge of Brexit, take my fall

An unofficial source close to the PM said:

“Theresa is starting to realise that this whole Brexit debacle is something she could have done without. She knows there’s no way she’s getting out of this with any political credibility intact, and she is wishing she’d let someone else take the rap for this.”

The nameless source (who could, let’s admit, be pretty much any senior tory official these days) added:

“It’s not that Theresa regrets being PM, she just wishes she’d waited until after this whole incident and been the backstabber, not the backstabbee.”

I noticed the hooded figure had a knife in his hand, which he was trying desperately to conceal from me. I decided to take his word on the issue, and left before there was any chance of the knife ending up in my own back – or indeed front, given it could have been Gove.

The B-side of this single is going to be another Cher song with a slight lyrical twist, “I Got EU Babe”.
The single is due for release on the 29th of March.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *