Hapless fence for stolen sovereignty to have a third go at passing on the goods today

A hapless woman, who many see as effectively a fence for the wholesale smash and grab of British democracy, is to have another go at passing on the goods today.

Intelligence received by this newspaper suggests the alleged mover for the criminal enterprise, believed to run a pizza takeaway as a front at 55 Tufton Street, will be lurking in the backstreets and tourist attractions of Westminster today, trying again to offload the hot property.

“You don’t want to be caught holding the goods when the music stops,” our democratic detective says, “although to be fair to the masterminds behind the burglary, if they can successfully move on the merchandise, and use the resulting financial gains to buy more power, it’s unlikely they’ll ever be held to account.”

Reports that the whole gang maybe stopped at the last minute and the stolen sovereignty returned to the people, and their parliament, have encouraged many to have hope she won’t get away with it.

“I would be careful,” our analyst says, “when you put it up on the white board it looks like she has bugger all chance of getting away with fencing the UK, but some of the people in the cartel that dreamed up the crime are in very high places.”

And a lot of the police that are supposed to be on watch for just this sort of activity are compromised?

“Oh, some certainly are, without a doubt, others are just useful idiots. Which isn’t too helpful. And others still reckon they can hijack the truck with all the merch in the back at the last minute and drive it to a collectivised farm. It’s touch and go at the moment.”

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