LCD Views can report today that a man is to keep parting his hair to the hard right after a successful outing on television.
“He’s a dedicated follower of retro fashions,” our political styles correspondent reports, “some would even go so far as to say he aims to set the trends, but with a 30’s feel. The hair, parted right, is one big step in the right direction.”
The decision to showcase the hairstyle, made famous in the first half of the 20th century, on a bubbly lifestyle programme is thought to be a stroke of genius, after a personal struggle.
“I am sure when he received the call to go on Newsnight, which used to be a serious attempt at journalism but is now mostly a late edition of ‘The One Show’, he put down that book of ‘How to name your next baby – Latin edition’ and got out the hairspray. Well, more correctly, called for nanny to get the hairspray. You’ve got to show the people what you really are, especially if you’re going to be the last thing they see before they give up in exasperation for the day and call it a night.”
But it’s believed the hair isn’t the only thing to stay after the tour de force.
“The lighting man really set him up well too,” our correspondent notes, “to have the shadow fall in a square under the nose? It’s like a show trial run. I expect he’ll be spending that little bit less on razors now that the upper lip area is going dental. The perfect way to show people what’s going on inside.”