A fed up old mother of parliaments has begun to troll the MPs inside her both symbolically and in actuality.
”I wasn’t intending to troll them,” The Palace of Westminster told LCD Views in an exclusive, “I was just having a quiet sniffle. I was remembering Gladstone, Churchill, Attlee, Pitt the Foetus and any number of great parliamentarians I’ve seen over the years. May Erskine! Well. I was having a quiet sniffle thinking of how I now have Grayling, May, some career politician more interested in gardening than challenging an illegally procured result in a poll, Davis, Jenkyns, Jenkins, Cash, Redwood, Rees-mogg, Baker, Barclay, HandonCock, Williamson, Bridgen and oh any number of complete and utter nimcompoops, well excuse me, but what am I supposed to do with all that?! A sniffle quickly turned into out and out sobs!”
So that’s how the flooded that adjourned the Commons chamber started?
”Of course. But now I’m just laughing. I’m sitting here thinking up what next? Maybe a gas leak next time Irritable Duncan Syndrome gets going? Rotten eggs. Just like the man’s brains. Sound off the fire alarms when Raab starts bleating? There’s any number of things I could do to clear the place day after day and get some peace and quiet.”
But how will they get anything done?
”Did you listen to that list? Getting anything done is the least of their concerns. I’m mindful just to collapse my ceiling in completely.”
But how will they get Brexit done? You troll them all that hard they’ll have to go for a long Article 50 extension while they rebuild?
”Precisely.”