LCD Views can report this morning that provincial administrator of a cold prefecture off the coast of continental Europe, Theresa May, is to take the Brexit Delay Bill to ruler of Europe, Angela Merkel (in Germany) this morning for royal assent.
This should not come as a great surprise. Anyone who has used the Daily Fail, or the Torygraph, to educate themselves over how the EU works, will know that only Germany has a veto.
“She’ll be careful to remind Merkel of the important historical lesson to be found in TWO WORLD WARS AND ONE WORLD CUP!,” our local government correspondent says, “the dog wags the tail and the dog is a British bulldog!!,,11??!,,,!”
Which should ensure the conversation gets off on the right foot.
While it is likely that Angela Merkel will grant her assent to the bill, now that it has passed through both meeting rooms in England and gained the symbolic tick of approval from local tourist attraction, Queen Elizabeth II, there is still a risk of it being returned without assent.
“Merkel may add amendments to the bill before giving her approval,” our correspondent suggests, “such as removing the ability of the provincial power using the new law to mess around the workings of the more powerful governments on the continent,
“Hopefully so long as May remembers to shout at Merkel ‘YOU NEED US MORE THAN WE NEED YOU!!!’, then only verbal assurances will be required. May’s word, a byword for good faith, should be enough.”
Merkel will be under further pressure to provide her assent to the delay bill swiftly, as after May’s visit, she has a fully booked schedule for the rest of the week of German automakers demanding she consents to whatever England wants.
“After Merkel has given her assent May will go and see Emperor Macron,” our correspondent says, “which should go well, even though the local press in May’s province has blasted Liam Fox’s misogynistic comments about Macron’s wife all over the front pages for the last few days, this won’t be a problem, as no one across the channel reads English,
“It’s a funny little thing Brexit. All the lies about sovereignty used by the Leavers to argue that our province should break off from the empire are now becoming truths, albeit temporary, because of the lies themselves. Global Britain Empire 2.0. Here we go. Here we go.”