First images of Theresa May arriving in Brussels to request another Article 50 extension have been released by the Event Horizon team.
”We were a little shocked that the supermassive black hole was so local, to Earth,” lead scientist Professor General Relativity said, “and that it’s not fixed, but moves constantly back and forth between Westminster and Brussels in a fortnightly sequence. This is essentially proof of string theory though, the string the hole is travelling along being Brexit, which is attached to numerous fingers, attached to offshore, tax dodging billionaires.”
What’s exactly on the inside of the Black Hole isn’t clear, as in over the event horizon.
”We suspect it’s Global Britain, the credibility of the office of prime minister, Boris Johnson’s boxer shorts and Lexit, for good measure, but of course we can’t send anyone in to find out, as they’ll be unable to come back out. They’ll be crushed the moment they cross.”
To jazz it up the team have settled on a name for the event horizon.
”We’ve called it No Deal Brexit, or WE’LL BE PERFECTLY FINE TRADING ON WTO RULES!!! But No Deal Brexit is shorter, so let’s stick to that.”
But critics have been quick to accuse the team of releasing fake news.
”We all know the Black Hole is either Boris Johnson as PM or Nigel Farage laughing all the way to the bank. I don’t know why they wasted all the time and effort to take the photo, when just look at Monday’s Telegraph column tells you everything you needed to know about it.”
Whoever is correct probably doesn’t matter, because if the U.K. doesn’t find a reverse gear to move back from the event horizon than everyone will find out, all at once, as we tip over.