SAFE SPACE : Larry the Cat is safer today than yesterday with the news that he has sought political asylum at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.
News of his disappearance had been kept under wraps, with many fearing Theresa May had eaten him just out of spite.
But shortly before 7am this morning, Larry appeared disguised as Paddington Bear, complete with suitcase, at the entrance to Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.
Ignoring the threatening growls of dogs left there on the doorstep by prats who should never have gotten a dog in the first place, Larry is said to have miaowed once and then waited for an answer.
Seconds later surprised staff were said to have opened the door and in swanned Larry, just like a cat.
He’s believed to have already settled into a new position in upper management at the famous refuge, but will remain in disguise in case the Tories attempt to recapture him and return him to 10 Downing Street.
“The Tory government has precious little it can point to as a positive of its time in office. Larry having survived the reign of psychotics is about it. They’ll be wanting him back.”
Earlier plans to move into the Ecuadorean Embassy were abandoned after the news that Assange left the cat litter tray there unchanged and filthy.
LCD Views would request space be provided for Larry and not to tell anyone where he is. It’s assumed once someone sane finally moves into his old home he will be able to return and govern the land as he has done successfully for many years. Until the Conservatives freaked him out by deciding to replace May with someone even worse.