Brexitopoly – first to reach the cliff edge wins!

A new board game is being launched in time for this Christmas for the turkeys who voted for it and who either love Brexit or are bored by it. It’’s called Brexitopoly and involves going round a square in circles. It’’s not so much a case of squaring the circle but rather circling the square.

It’’s expected that the 17.4 million Leave voters will gobble up the game when it appears in the shops, particularly as after Brexit the shelves will be empty of everything else.

LCD Views managed to get a quick peek at the game at the factory where it is being manufactured in what may well be one of the last throws of the dice by British manufacturing, before it is decimated by the influx of cheap imports that will be ushered in by Brexit.

Our reporter Gay Mon spoke to the Just About Managing director of the company who gave her a few glimpses of the game. He explained that the object was to leave a club which had generally speaking been of benefit to the vast majority and find the exact same benefits elsewhere without paying the club fees. As you can imagine this is a tall order which is why the game is so exciting, frustrating and ultimately ends in failure.

As with other similar games you roll a dice and move around the board trying to negotiate the best terms for leaving your old club and trying to find a new one, without paying a penalty of £39 billion. If you are unlucky enough to land on a square called Cliff Edge you fall off it and you have to wait three turns before you can rejoin the game, at which point you are instructed to go round the board straight back to the Cliff Edge. Or you can pay a fine of £350 million, every week.

There is a set of cards called Promises and Lies one of which you pick when you land on a square called Consequences. One of these is called No Freedom of Movement which says it’’s time to take a holiday in Europe . But when you get to the airport the queues are enormous and there are no planes. If you are particularly unlucky you could end up in a traffic jam in Kent unable to move (although your bowels are!) anxiously looking for a portaloo.

The game was rather sketchy, lacked clarity and seemed pointless. As a result, our reporter came away rather unimpressed with it , hoping it would be taken off the shelves, but having a horrible feeling that it would be a hit with the 17.4 million.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *