UPPING THE ANTE : Jeremy Hunt left Boris Johnson with his mouth hanging open at the Tory leadership hustings on the weekend when he said “I’ll burn the country to the ground if that’s what it takes to deliver Brexit.”
Sources within the Johnson campaign said, after the hustings, that they feared there is a mole in his campaign, as Boris was planning to promise to burn as many working class jobs as necessary to deliver Brexit, once he gets into Downing Street.
“Hunt’s promise is too similar to what Boris was going to promise,” the source said, “it’s uncanny. We were briefed that Hunt was going with ‘jobs first Brexit’, or some other complete bollocks, but not a job incinerator line. Maybe we got our Jeremy’s mixed up?”
The promise to do mass economic damage to the country to satiate the increasingly furious Brexit God does mark a unique turning point in British politics.
“It’s impressive,” our politics intern commented, “you have candidates running to be the leader of a governing political party and a key plank of their pitch is their willingness to destroy the lives and livelihoods of constituents? That’s a first, isn’t it? When you consider it’s for no actual gain. It’s not a war, no matter how much the old Tory duffers fantasise that it is one. It’s a political choice to bend the country over and not use the butter. I’ve never seen anything like it in my time. But then I’m only young, excuse me, I have to write a letter to Nigel.”
What the candidates will promise now, that goes further than the job incinerator, is up for speculation. We’re presuming they’ll go biblical on our asses now and warn us if we don’t paint a red cross over our door then Brexit will take our home in the night.