INSIDE 10 DOWNING STREET OR BRAINS BRAINS : A British woman is under scrutiny today after it was discovered that she’s shared her London home with a corpse for the last three years. A red, white and blue corpse at that.
The woman is understood to have moved into the plush central London address upon taking up a new job in July 2016. According to reports, she carried the corpse in with her.
Police are due to escort the woman when she moves out of the address later in the month.
“She’s going to leave the stinking corpse behind though,” a source inside the address told LCD Views, “this way it can carry on living with the next occupant. Its arms fell off the other day. We just cello taped them back on.”
The corpse is believed to go by the name of Brexit.
“It’s undead,” the source revealed, “it spends its time wandering the halls calling in a long moan for brains, brains. Then it eats the brains of anyone it can get hold of. The woman in question is a good example.”
But with a man set to take up the tenancy, won’t his brain be in danger of being consumed by Brexit also?
“Oh, I think he’s pretty safe,” the source smirked.
But surely, a nice, plump fresh brain will be irresistible to Brexit?
“After seeing how the woman has fared living with Brexit for the last three years, but he now wants to move in and live with the Brexit corpse? It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the man in question is already brainless.”
It also doesn’t take a genius to work out it’s time someone took Brexit out the back and buried it.