Brexit Dad Figel Narage celebrated his unlikely success with his closest friends. In keeping with his world of bots, botcoms and botcoins, the party was held online.
Figel’s friends included a number whose profiles were strangely scanty, but whose activity on political sites was strong. Notable was “Alise Feild”, who spends her time posting variations on “we won, get over it, losers” on discussion pages.
“Alise talks a lot of sense,” said Narage, posting another champagne bottle on her wall. “She helped me get where I am today!”
But where is Brexit Dad, exactly?
“There has been a lot of talk about bots recently,” he explained. “Artificial intelligence. Helping to explain the political landscape of Brexit. After all, we are going to build a road across it!”
What has that got to do with you, though?
“I got into bots as soon as Brexit was proposed,” he said. “Met this nice chap called Vladimir, who suggested that I head up the English side of things. So I founded some botcom companies, pressed the big red button and the whole kaboosh went viral.”
We never knew you were so tech-savvy.
“Well, my daughter Figella helped me a bit,” he admitted. “She connected everything up to Facepamphlet, Snapgossip and Twittalk, and showed me how to create a realistic profile. You know, the donkey work. With Vladimir’s basic algorithm, it just took off!”
We assume that you earned money for all this work?
“Oh yes, of course!” he exclaimed. “I barely have enough to get by on as it is. Now I get paid in this new cybercurrency called botcoin. Everybody is into it these days. And it’s completely crash-proof!”
How much botcoin are you earning?
“Loads! In fact, I’m now a botcoin millionaire!” he boasted. “I’m the first ever! Brexit means botcoin!”
We left Figel to his virtual piss-up. Unfortunately for him, they don’t accept payment in botcoin at Sainsbury’s.