Toad Hall was rocked by a fresh scandal last night as a mystery individual released an anonymous statement to the Riverside Times, blasting the current owner of Toad Hall, Mr Toad, accusing him of gross instability.
The article details Mr Toad’s obsession with motor cars, claiming that he has a dangerous driver. This is borne out by verified statistics that he has crashed seven cars in a matter of months, all through speeding, of which three put him in hospital.
Mr Toad has reacted to these claims in what has by now become his customary manner, on twitter. He issued the following tweet on the subject:
“Me, crash motor cars? Fake news. I’m the safest driver you’ll ever meet. And fast – so fast, I’ll drive you home after lunch and you’ll be there safe and sound before it starts digesting, poop-poop!”
The identity of the alleged mole has not been confirmed, but the chief suspects are Mr Badger, Mole and Ratty.
All three had something to say on the matter. Mole told the press:
“It’s disgusting. The story comes out that there’s a mole in Toad Hall and straight away everybody assumes it’s me just because I’m a mole. Well, yes, I am a mole, but I’m not the mole, I’m not that kind of mole!”
Badger shrugged his shoulders and said:
“I don’t know or care who it is, what he’s saying about Toad is perfectly true, so I’m 100% behind him. Toad is unfit for the high status he has been accorded, and needs to be taught a lesson.”
Ratty meanwhile said:
“We’ve all tried getting Toady to relax, but every time he hears a car horn, he gets an adrenaline rush. We’re considering taking drastic action.”
The remaining suspects are all weasels, who have been behaving in a rather shifty manner of late. There is rumour abound that some of them have been talking about taking over Toad Hall, but this rumour is as yet unsubstantiated. In any event, it looks like the next few weeks could very well land Mr Toad in hot water.