Priti Patel MP is expected to get back on the front foot today and defend her actions in August by attacking Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
“Seriously, what is with you people?” she is expected to begin, “you’ve all seen who is foreign secretary. A bumbling, lazy clown who doesn’t read his briefs but takes them off quickly enough. Would you trust him with Middle East foreign policy if you worked with him?”
LCD Views turned to our foreign policy analyst, Prof D Wit, for his analysis on Ms Patel’s argument.
“She’s got a point. When you take into consideration Mr Johnson’s history of offending foreign governments. The ghastly hash he’s made out of the Nazarin situation.
The sheer scale and complexity of problems the U.K. faces at home currently, leading to more difficult relations abroad, yes, I’d be running my own foreign policy agenda if I were in the cabinet, or even just a government drawer.”
Ms May is feeling mounting pressure to sack Ms Patel and replace her with a responsible, proven, trustworthy, infallible middle aged man as soon as possible.
“I expect Ms May will have to act today. Ms Patel is on a surprisingly official visit to Africa at the moment, but I hope she flies at least business class, as she will most likely to be about facing and flying home within hours.”
Prof Wit adds,
“I expect Ms Patel to be promoted to the office of foreign secretary by this evening as after her actions in August she is now better qualified than Boris Johnson for the position.”