Michael Fallon is reportedly still waiting today for masses of women to come forward and say light hearted sexual harassment, of the kind he apparently stood down as defense secretary over, was just fine ten years ago.
“Behaviour that was acceptable ten years ago like murder, fraud, theft of bicycles and jovial good natured sexual harassment of women who appear not to be able to give powerful, virile, sexually charged, irresistible, privileged men like me clear signals, like accepting we should be able to do whatever we want whenever we want with them, appears to have gone by the by in the modern climate of PC gone mad.”
The above line is imagined to have been in the initial draft of Mr Fallon’s resignation letter, but we don’t know for certain, it just seems fitting.
If it was, it must have been edited out for the more succinct suggestion that the way Mr Fallon apparently behaved with his female colleagues was accepted by all of them just a few years ago, but strangely not now.
LCD Views did a straw poll in our office to see how many hands went up in agreement with Mr Fallon amongst the men and women working here.
No one raised their hand in support.
One even went so far as to suggest understanding consent and the ability to respect the signals and statements made by other humans hasn’t actually changed since he was first subject to stirrings of desire decades ago.
To gain further insight into Mr Fallon we contacted the local paleontological society and spoke to an expert.
“Mr Fallon is perfectly correct to suggest that attitudes like his, as exposed by his resignation letter, wherein the man is unaware of his own sense of entitlement, even so far as to suggest it was once acceptable for him to behave in the way that has lead to his disgrace, were accepted in a past epoch. Unfortunately for him, we’d have to go back to about the Jurassic.”
Nevertheless, it is rumoured a Twitter campaign has been launched to find women to speak out in support of Mr Fallon’s concept of acceptable behaviour towards women a short decade ago, but so far only Donald Trump has endorsed it.