A group of famous British explorers canoeing up shit creek have confirmed they’re doing so without any paddles.
“What use are paddles when the current is so strong?” one expedition member, “the bulldog”, asked LCD Views, “I know I told the others I had packed the paddles, but I lied, and now we’re in mid flow they can’t do anything about it, can they?”
This answer seems surprisingly acceptable to the outdated desktop computer chosen to be the party leader, on the basis of how simplistic the commands required to programme her are.
“Shit creek means shit creek,” the device, affectionately nicknamed “Maybot” replied when asked by our Technology correspondent exactly where she was supposed to be charting a course to.
Observers of the expedition have raised concerns though, that in consideration of the various risks and floating hazards certain to be encountered during the expedition, that paddles are the minimum required to steer past any blockages they may encounter.
“There’s no room for paddles!” A big, blonde boy, who is in one of the canoes because no one can work out how to throw him overboard, shouted, “the very aim of this bold, triumphant expedition is to prove that pesky rules and regulations requiring paddles and life jackets and safe moorings and water purification kits are just an unnecessary burden on the pocket books of the expeditions backers!”
“I’m not really sure they can survive shit creek without maps or ways to bat aside the turds. I think they’re all going to drown. Any rescue parties may drown too,” Our Bad Ideas specialist commented.
“I asked them, don’t you think you should at least beach up for a while until you have examined the way forward in excruciating detail? But no one replied. Their frantic bow waves are washing all sorts of horrible muck up onto the shorelines.”
The expedition leader did helpfully respond though,
“Up shit creek without a paddle means up shit creek without a paddle.”