Westminster amateur theatrical effort “A Brexmas Carol” threatened with early close after poor reviews

LCD Views’ Amateur Theatrics correspondent has filed a review of “A Brexmas Carol” that is so scathing we hesitate to publish it.

“All the ghosts are bastards,” the review begins, “and the central character is played by an actor so drab and terrified it’s stunning she hasn’t felt the damning shepherd’s crook already to drag her off stage.”

Further criticism was levelled at the famous thespian Mr Davis for “failing to learn any of the lines required to elicit the emotional reaction to Tiny Tim the audience expects to feel. This critic actually witnessed the audience hiss and boo when he broke the wall and whispered in an aside to the audience that he had no idea what the play was about.”

There was similar heat for the blonde man chosen to be Christmas Future.

“While mildly entertained by Mr Johnson’s reviving of period insults, his instinct for accidentally damaging the stage set was a great distraction that made it seem unlikely the play could even reach the final act. He was spotted numerous times whispering conspiratorially with the ghost of Christmas Present in the wings. School boy behaviour that only made it harder for the wet rag playing Scrooge to concentrate and not fluff each line.”

The introduction of a new character was met with scorn too.

“A dour woman who looked like she would be happier drowning baby dinosaurs in a bucket. At one stage, as Scrooge was close to a revelation on the value of human kindness, this previously little known figure actually pulled the rug from under the feet of Scrooge.”

The production company funding Brexmas has issued a statement declaring it will go ahead, at least until Christmas, or 0% corporate tax rates, but it’s hard to see the ongoing feasibility of the production with audience numbers dwindling daily.

The afternoon matinees are virtually unattended now.

Other critics, for less widely circulated publications, have generally been as disappointed, with the exception of the Daily Mail, which has chosen to blame 48% of the audience for reacting poorly to the shoddy show, and the effect that appears to be having on the cast.

“A Brexmas Carol” will continue to run daily until further notice, but we expect when the curtain falls for the final time it will be abrupt and purchase of advance tickets is unwise.

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