Fudgberg the size of Westminster seen floating in the English Channel

LCD Views is just one of many mass media outlets reporting with joy at the sighting of a giant fudgberg the size of Westminster seen bobbing about the English Channel.

“It originated somewhere in the Irish Sea late Thursday night. Probably bubbled up from one of the sea floor vents that dinosaurs definitely didn’t come out of when the Earth was made a few thousand years ago,” our Confectionery and Political Arts correspondent advises.

“It is a confectionery designed to make anyone who takes a bite really happy, but the aftertaste is a little bit like ash.”

The aftertaste problem appears to be related to the constituent parts.

“Although a natural byproduct of political tectonics as a large plate is pushed by the UK against the EU, the fudgberg is thought to be especially good at alleviating the need for businesses to relocate or in anyway enact contingency plans relating to mass economic suicide planned by a nation state, at least for the next few minutes.

But this is probably just an old wifes’ tale. Especially now that the EU have agreed an FTA with Japan which accounts for 30% of global output.

Add that to the rest of their agreements and they can humour Ms May in her attempt to convince the voters to eat fudge.”

Health authorities have also warned against excessive consumption.

Large amounts can make you blind to the fact that there is not much actual detail of substance or fibre in fudgberg, and it is likely to be regurgitated if some of the hard Brexit head cases grab enough Conservatives around the midriff and squeeze. At which point a giant economicberg will appear and leave Dover to beach itself at Calais.

“It’s potentially a serious risk to shipping also.” our correspondent added.

“In fact it could disrupt trade between the U.K. and the EU for years, if it doesn’t stay down after consumption.

I would advise all patriots to get their patriot spoons and begin chipping away at the fudgberg.”

Fudgxit means fudgxit and fudgxit means fudgberg and if you think this is mostly nonsense then that’s because what Westminster is making is a fudgberg which is nonsense, and the opposing sides of remain and leave will have reduced it to fudgiscle before the year is out.

So will reality because pretending you’ll solve the border issue with magic won’t cut it, nor will paying to have less.

Try some fudgberg today.

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