Push for zero harmful emissions on the roads risks freedom of speech claim politicians

LCD Views has a finger on the pulse, most often of its highly excitable senior editor, but also on the latest in Environmental Political news.

This allows us to be the first to report of the growing anxiety in government, and the opposition benches, that new environmental regulations coming into force to eliminate harmful emissions on the roads could silence many senior politicians.

“It’s anti-democratic,” Michael Gove was first to strike, “it will silence the entire cabinet and, although it’s not often I extend concern to my political opponents, it will also silence numerous Labour MPs.”

Mr Gove appears to believe freedom of speech itself is at risk.

He went on to prove how much he values it by unashamedly lying to us for half an hour. A spray we have chosen not to repeat.

“The changes are targeted at improving the appalling quality of air in the capital,” our environmental analyst advises, “this will be done by encouraging electric vehicles onto the roads.

But the unintended consequence will of course be gagging serial liars who have chosen to abuse the trust of the electorate by not saying a single thing that can’t swiftly be proven bollocks.”

Boris Johnson is understood to be especially concerned and is rumoured to be establishing a base camp outside of the capital with a giant megaphone.

He’s said to already be testing the system by shouting misremembered Shakespeare at a captured group of visiting French exchange students.

“I for one think it’s high time we took measures to combat the great stink,” our analyst affirms, “When we have situations where improv character actors like David Davis are lying to parliament and nothing is done about it because the executive is too feeble? We’re in trouble. We need to act.”

Presumably the talk of unicorn Brexit of the worker’s kind is to be banned too as it’s seen as a gateway drug to the hard stuff, Canada plus plus plus.

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