Stage play “The Idiot Menace” slammed for being too long and full of actors who haven’t read their lines

Star Wars stage adaptation “The Idiot Menace” has been slammed by theatregoers and critics alike for being too long and full of actors who have clearly not learned their lines.

“I doubt they even know the plot,” LCD’s only intern, S Fork, commented, “it’s an invitation to watch a bunch of overpaid soon to be has-beens shuffle about the stage praying for the curtain to fall and put them out of their misery. And there’s no intermission!”

Criticism has also been levelled at the government’s lavishing of state funding on the staged drama.

“You know the sub is now up to £350M a week! Apparently it’s supposed to be reviving live theatre in the country, by giving control back to amateur theatrics, but I can’t see how. Any group applying to share the funding is told it’s already all allocated and not to waste time applying that could be better spent queuing for a GP.”

It’s not a situation likely to improve anytime soon. Rumoured firing of the cast and replacement with a whole swathe of alternative actors mid-season is constant, but thought unlikely.

“This play is a poisoned chalice to anyone silly enough to dorectvit. I could think of how to spend the money better. Rumour had it the choice was between sending Liam Fox on a trade mission to Oumuamua or this play.”

There is support from the Daily Mail, the Sun and the ever considered Telegraph.
“Apparently if you don’t go and see ‘The Idiot Menace’ you’ve joined a paramilitary outfit committed to ending theatre as we know it. At least, according to the Telegraph.”

It would perhaps have been preferable to spend the spare cash on launching Doctor Fox into space chasing after a flying cigar. At least something would arguably have been gained.

Tickets are still available for this afternoon’s matinee, but it’s likely to reveal the all star cast have still not studied the script. If you go, take some rotten fruit to throw!

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