A man who millions of people admire because he’s not like others expects to solve the riddle of how to get into government with a jobs first Brexit by 1st April 2019, at the latest.
“We’re working really hard on it. The whole team,” the man reassured his fans and supporters while seemingly immobile, “we’re building a movement right now.”
This is enough for some, but for the others,
“The only good Brexit is a jobs first Brexit.
We can do that by assisting our colleagues in government so fully on Brexit that they won’t notice we’re seamlessly out polling them while seeming to be supporting them.”
It appears the only major hurdle is how to actually get the other party off their benches, so Labour can sit on them instead, while routinely voting in support of their most important policy agenda.
“It’s totally got me stumped,” the man admitted, “you would have thought a minority government propped up by a bunch of creationists, who most likely can’t be relied upon in a crunch, would be easy to displace.”
More so because they are pursuing an incredibly divisive agenda which all evidence suggests is going to completely trash the economy of the country, while simultaneously belittling it diplomatically.
“And they’re doing this while pursuing domestic policies that some suggest are now indirectly killing people who need medical treatment or welfare support.”
You would have thought the way to bring such a government down would be clear, but apparently not.
“I’m sure we’ll find the magic bullet sooner or later, definitely by the first of April 2019.”
Until then it’s probably best to just keep voting in support of a very weak prime minister on the issue that is always threatening to rip her own party to shreds because you’re worried a bunch of people who believed a barrel load of lies might not like you so much?
“We’ll get there. Just be patient. Until then we’ll just vote with the Tories on Brexit and see if they don’t do our job for us, sooner or later, by daily hurting the United Kingdom. It’s the principled thing to do.
If we appear mysterious people will think we’re up to something clever.
That is in no way a cynical political strategy that makes us complicit in the great self-harm project being inflicted on the U.K.”