In a surprising display of candour for a modern politician a Labour Party Brexit spokesman has confirmed that Labour’s much trumpeted ‘jobs first Brexit is…’
“Where the jobs go first and then we Brexit. This is why we support a transition period between Brexit and Brexit.”
This is in stark contrast to the current Conservative Party Brexit, generally known as, smash it all to shit so wealthy backers with massive offshore wealth can asset strip the U.K. while simultaneously stripping away all the rights protected by membership of the European Union.
This is usually referred to by the snappier handle of ‘Brexit means Brexit’ or ‘A red, white and blue Brexit’.
“Labour wanted to differentiate itself from the Conservatives, as people are getting confused about all the votes we keep casting in the Commons to support whatever half baked casserole of nonsense Brexit the government puts to a ballot.”
The major dividing line between the two Brexits has not impressed experts.
Three year old, Sandy Sawyer, currently attending a childcare centre two days a week, summed it up like this,
“There is only Brexit and any idiot, who isn’t blinded by an irrational need to reinforce their deep seated personal insecurities, which manifest in an unwavering political tribalism no matter how irrational the actions of the party they have pinned their colours to the mast of, will tell you that.
There simply hasn’t been the time, planning or effort made to grasp the complexities to make a success of Brexit, which involves attempting to unravel ourselves over a long weekend from a relationship that is decades long.
Never mind the fact the roots of the project go back through the ghastly wars of the last century, but no Brexiter is capable of grasping that, or the existential importance of the EU to the rest of Europe.
This is why they just strut about talking cobblers and expect the continental countries to touch the forelock. Muppets.
I expected adults to be better at this. We’re dealing with the future of myself, my peers and my older cousins here.
This whole shambles is like watching my dad attempting to put together a sofa bed from IKEA without reference to the instructions because he thinks he’s gotta do it that way or he loses face.
But I better stop prattling on or I’ll get labelled a Centrist Child. Hand me the shovel please. I’ve got a head sized hole to dig in the sandpit.”
LCD Views own Brexit analyst is also unimpressed.
“Any Brexit is a jobs first Brexit. Just pay attention to the news. Jobs are going and very often now the people who used to do the job. That’s your jobs first Brexit. It’s actually an unintentionally accurate way to describe what we’re currently doing.
Now if you’ll excuse me, Sandy has stuck her head inside a hole in the sand to display a supporter of Brexit. I need to pull her out before she comes to harm.”