Brexit themed crystal balls withdrawn from sale after the churning mist inside never clears

Leading magic toys retailer, Magic means Magic, responded to a deluge of complaints from unhappy customers today and suggested it may or may not withdraw its line of Brexit crystal balls from sale.

“Customers were complaining that the churning mist inside the Brexit crystal balls never clears to give a clear view,” store manager T May told LCD Views, “but that’s entirely the point.”

Whether or not customers were missing the point of the dark, churning, energy sapping, rights eliminating mist inside the Brexit balls or not, they were certainly filling social media with accusations of faults and dodgy goods.

“Our Twitter team attempted a push back. We released a meme showing how our toy scientists had manufactured special glass that helped increase the suspense of prophesying, but it just increased the blowback.”

So there was no choice but to withdraw the balls and accept a massive loss.

“£350M a week, so far,” T. May shrugged, “it’s increased our brand exposure though. No such thing as bad advertising. Balls mean balls.”

And there were some supporters.

“I like a leap in the dark,” a supporter, Mr Bolt On, chimed in, “I keep getting divorced and married and divorced. I was hoping one of the magic balls would help me land a much younger, aggressively racist lover. But one that would know to keep the pillow talk between the sheets, if you know what I mean?”

Magic means Magic have said they will revise the balls to more accurately reflect their theme.

“Now when you say show me the future it will just be a lonely man crying in a field next to a cow paddie while starving children scream at him holding blue passports,” T May said, “it won’t have enough suspense though.”

We think it’s good the Brexit crystal balls may or may not be withdrawn. We hope the rest of the associated merchandise will too.

“They were balls,” our toy analyst commented, “balls means balls.”

Yes we know that already. There’s a reason he doesn’t comment much.

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