LCD Views reports this morning that Brexit analysts have revised the first tangible benefit of Brexit back from blue passports to David Cameron mostly hiding in a shed.
“We totally missed it,” Dr Rem Ainer shrugged, “we’ve been so focused on trying to stop the country hurling itself off a cliff, and laughing at the blue pamphlet thing, that we missed the extended silence of Britain’s greatest prime minister.”
It’s not certain if Mr Cameron was aware he was on camera yesterday, in Davos, it’s also not clear what he’s doing at Davos in the first place?
“Begging richer men for cash and favours, I’d expect,” Dr Ainer suggested, “he’s got to keep himself busy somehow, you know, now he’s come out of his shed. And there’s an entire country to flog off now, with Brexit.”
LCD Views understands that Mrs Cameron is especially pleased to have hubby back out playing with chums in the chumocracy.
“She was starting to worry he was becoming agoraphobic,” a stylist, working for the Camerons told LCD,
“she was thinking it was going to take an intervention. A herd of pigs walking past. A peerage? It was looking dicey.
What do you get for the man who gave an entire half of his arse for his country, broke the country and fled?
Leaving a free food distribution industry booming, I mean the work he and George Osborne did for the charity sector alone is never properly recognised.
And then the Camerons next appear in a weekend newspaper splash, having spent more than the average UK income on a flipping shed? It’s hardly fitting.”
Quite.
Although a set of stocks for Mr Cameron wouldn’t go astray? Target practise for kids? Just with rotten tomatoes.
“Anyway, the important thing is that David is walking and talking again.
Not many people know this, but he suffered serious spinal damage in an accident at his office on the 24th June, 2016, when he literally lost his spine.
His doctor was worried he might never walk and talk in public again.”
If only we’d known, we would have offered to help.
“That’s okay. Now he’s back in business, he at least has a chance of writing his own epithet. If he can be bothered.”
David Cameron the Invertebrate?
“Decide for yourself. At least being a very wealthy man who quit public office and fled, rather than sticking about to clean up his mess, is going less bad than he expected.”