BBC to keep playing broken record on flagship R4Today programme

The BBC was on the back foot and in denial mode against accusations they have replaced the presenters of their flagship Today programme on Radio 4 with a broken record of classic Brexit catchphrases.

“I don’t know where you’re getting that rubbish from?” Today editor Camber Sands fumed at LCD Views when we asked her to comment.

“The same happy gang as always is still presenting the Today programme.

Why ever would you think we’d swap John Humphrys for a vinyl recording of John Humphrys shouting classic Brexit catchphrases at interviewees instead of having an interview?

We’d hardly do it to save money.

John only costs us a bit shy of £400K a year now. Real value for money if you just want someone to essentially regurgitate the Brexit MP’s hot air and not actually interrogate the changing landscape relating to the issue.

And it’s also easily justifiable when you consider how readily John appears to accept the importance of daily supporting the democratically elected government.

He could probably earn twice that writing Tory friendly headlines for the MailOnLoan, I mean online. Or working for a media friendly environment in North Korea?”

In spite of the denials from the editors of the once great ship of British broadcasting, it seems many listeners suspect there is no smoke without fire.

“Were you listening when he interviewed one those Best for Britain chaps? Nick Robinson was on supporting vocals.

May as well have had Farage doing it. Or a recording of Farage.

Actually we could save a bundle on license fees by just having recordings of Nigel Farage shout “Sieg Heil!” at people being interviewed about Brexit.

Then he could play old music hall classics like “My Old Man’s A National Socialist”, as sometimes I think the political folk are holding too far back from going full Farage on Brexit.

Nigel won’t clean out the saboteurs and traitors attempting to undermine and subvert the will of the people on his own!”

We did approach Mr Humphrys for a comment directly, and he even seemed to answer his phone.

But all we heard down the other end of the line was a scratchy noise punctuated by what sounded like a needle bumping along an old vinyl record.”

Will of the people. The people have spoken. Now let the people be quiet.

Over to you John for the weather,

“YOU DON’T PAY ME HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF POUNDS A YEAR TO SHOUT THE WEATHER!

THIS IS UNDERMINING THE DEMOCRATIC MANDATE EXPRESSED OVERWHELMING WHEN THE PEOPLE VOTED IN THE TOTALLY NON-ADVISABLE REFERENDUM IN 2016 TO BLOW THEIR BLOODY HEADS OFF BY WAY OF ECONOMIC INSANITY.”

PLEASE…John, please stop shouting Brexit slogans, although to be fair, there was actually a lot more variety in that statement than usual these days.

Now, over the Nick Robinson for an update on the changing attitudes of the people of Britain as regards Brexit?

And maybe a comment on the latest leaks regarding the government’s own regional economic forecasts for a hard Brexit?

And maybe some coverage of the many businesses in various sectors already relocating jobs and investment across the channel. Maybe the soft fruit farms setting up in China because they can’t wait for certainty any longer?

And the big one, the Irish Border? May’s balling up in Stormont yesterday? No? Nothing.

…..(just silence)…..(and more silence)….the people have spoken.

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