Shocking news is breaking this evening that Theresa May’s permanent residency visa has been revoked by Cloud Cuckoo Land as she’s now too deluded even for them.
“It comes on the back of her statement that the Brexit negotiations, currently being conducted by a faded imperial power deluded into thinking it’s going through a rebirth, and the EU27, that these negotiations will be an example for the whole world to follow,” LCD’s residency correspondent reports,
“apparently Ms May was already pushing her luck, but this was one insane statement too far.”
Even as we are going to print with this breaking news story immigration officials from the Immigration and Border Service of Cloud Cuckoo Land are believed to be escorting Ms May to a holding centre.
“It’s expected her case will be fast tracked, appeals turned down, and she’ll be out of the door by tomorrow morning and flown home.
She will then be forced to continue living at 10 Downing Street for an unspecified, but limited amount of time, and continue to lead the Conservative Party, until either Gove or Johnson can actually get a knife to stay in her back.”
It’s not clear how Ms May will take this latest setback.
Especially as it comes on the back of setting the world alight only a few days ago with a speech on Brexit hailed by her entire party as both “unfittingly insane” and “the last ridiculous word salad she would be allowed to utter in public before Cloud Cuckoo Land takes action”.
In advance of her return to Downing Street Ms May has apparently ordered all mirrors smashed and the shards buried in a deep pit.
“This is just sensible policy now,” our correspondent observes, “heaven help her if she ever takes a good look at herself while hearing her own words broadcast at the same time. In this instance the old adage, know thyself, would be tantamount to extreme and punitive self flagellation.”