The Department for Education has issued a directive today stating that the Suez Crisis is to be referred to officially from now on as the Suez Success, to prepare the United Kingdom for Brexit, from school children up.
”We wouldn’t have triumphed at Suez without the steadfast support of our American allies who rallied the UN to our cause,” S Panker, junior minister at the department said, “it’s just a shame the same can’t be said of the French.”
In addition to the correction of history which “for too long has been viewed in a negative light”, schoolchildren will also be invited to tell their teachers if their parents misunderstand modern British history.
”Say a child is told by their parents that the Suez Success was in fact a crisis, well, Brexit Britain’s government needs to hear about this so the parent can be guided gently back to the right path.”
Gentle guidance may involve unexpected trips to the dentist and time off work.
But why start with the impressionable minds of schoolchildren?
Surely it would just be better to have the BBC produce a serious of re-educational documentaries fronted by John Humphrys, and repeat them as nauseum until everyone has corrected their misunderstandings about the Suez Success?
”We at the Department for Education, working with our colleagues across government, believe it’s best to reshape young minds first.”
Whats your reasoning?
”It’s quite obvious,” S Panker said, “they’re the ones who are going to inherit the mess of the Brexit Success.”