BBC to resume coverage of Brexit on ceefax

The BBC has responded to recent criticism of its coverage of Brexit by asking viewers a question, “What coverage?”

“The question was just a joke,” Radio4 Today programme producer Sarah Sands followed up, “do you know if you google my name you’ll find I spent my career in tabloids before joining the BBC at a crucial time in the Brexit process.

You can also find me having lunch with Rupert Murdoch, Liam Fox, Farage, Banks and others. But that’s not really relevant to my announcement today.”

But what is relevant is the surge of relief that will be felt amongst the increasing volume of license fee players who believe,

“The BBC has totally gone to pot. Taken over by the government and turned into a propaganda service.”

What leverage has the government used?

”Threats to our independence and funding. You know a key function of most governments is to lie to the voter?”

Within acceptable limits? Surely there is a limit between making space while an administration works out how it screwed something up and outright bs?

”Not at the moment! You funny little peasant.”

Great. Channel 4 and even Sky are currently doing better than you a lot of the time now on Brexit. Huffington Post and other new players too. Oh, and don’t forget Carole Cadwalladr, she’s owning it right now on Cambridge Analytica.

”On what? Did you hear John Humphrys read out the bus timetables of his youth for an hour this morning?”

So how are you going to respond to the criticisms?

”We’re certainly not going to do it by clearing out all the old men at the BBC who are helping make a success of Brexit!”

But as Brexit unravels your coverage gets worse and more obviously one sided. It can’t go on.

”I know. That’s why I’m taking Rupert Murdoch’s genius suggestion and we’ll now be running any non-positive Brexit stories with rigorous analysis on a dedicated service. It’s too important a time in the life of our country to ignore it any longer.”

Oh thank god. What channel?

”Ceefax!”

”But Ceefax ceased in 2012!”

“Precisely. Just key in the 000’s. All the zeroes.”

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