LCD Views is proud to say we have played our part in the search for the missing United Kingdom parliament by successfully campaigning for the Palace of Westminster to feature on the entire country’s milk cartons.
“We had to do our bit,” Orange Searchlight told a late night editorial meeting at the Fudge and Fark, “it wasn’t enough to just shout from the sidelines anymore, we had to scream silently from recyclable cardboard dairy products too.”
Critics at the red tops have seized on the campaign as blatant self promotion, claiming there is no genuine concern for missing British democracy.
But they are wrong. They are traitors. They are enemies of the people.
A freephone number has been included on the inside of the carton so that anyone who spots British democracy can alert the relevant authorities immediately.
“You would have thought with the Cambridge Analytica revelations, coming after all the proven lies of the Leave campaign, the very fact the only people pushing for calamitous structural change to the United Kingdom and its place in the world being proven ideologues, and just well, all the tax dodgers and neo-fascists wanting Brexit would have been enough for parliament to stop pretending it’s run away and come home,” Green added,
“but apparently not. And now we have a prime minister using a long running and incredibly brutal conflict over identity in the middle of England to further tax dodging? Seriously? If parliament won’t come home of its own accord we will have to campaign for the people of the United Kingdom to start using their eyes and ears and find it.”
No reward is being offered for locating parliament because having a functioning, representative democracy is reward in itself.
“Just look at the countries that either lost one or never had it,” Green adds, “and stop buying the f*cking Daily Mail, Telegraph, Express and so on.”
Indeed. Keep your eyes open. You can drag democracy back to the Commons, kicking and screaming if necessary.