Meteorologists are dancing in excitement today after a new type of cloud was identified that just rains crap all the time, and to celebrate they named it after Brexit.
“It’s amazing,” LCD Views’ AI weather computer printed on its dot matrix printer, “every new cloud that is found is a sweet child of mine to stand under with my mouth open like a nationalist driven potatriot,
“I don’t care that it’s only raining crap and liquid crap at that. It’s such a large cloud even weather laymen and laywomen will be able to identify it correctly when it starts raining on them, even if they’re laying. This will leave me free to identify the particular rain drops falling from Accumulo Brexit.”
We punched in the following question on the computer’s chunky keys,
Q. The colour of the new cloud will make it easy for everyone to identify?
A. “It’s red, white and blue! Just like most of the flags of most of the countries on earth. Oh and poo, it’s that colour too.”
Q. How is it formed in the atmosphere?
A. “It’s formed from the heavy humidity in the breathing of gammon faced knuckle draggers and racist nostalgia freaks, and inherited privilege that wants more, more and more, oh and the delirious exhalations of ideological daydreamers who think a messiah figure will save them from the devils of their electing, mixing with the updrafts of accumulated tax dodging that rise from so many British overseas territories and other island nations,
“The world is full of these people. It’s amazing the Brexit cloud has taken so long to be formally identified. Although some weather scientists say it was one of the major weather patterns of the 1930’s and early 1940’s.”
Q. But why have they named it after Brexit?
A. “That’s self evident. My printer mechanism will jam if I have to explain it.”
Q. Because Brexit just rains crap all the time over everything it hovers over?
“Thanks for saving me from a jam. Yes. Just be careful if you’re going out if you see Accumulo Brexit overhead. You’ll need an industrial strength umbrella and a shit load of toilet paper. Oh and wellies as the risk of flash flooding from a Brexit downpour is knee high.”