Professor N. Quasar, an astro-anthropologist working on British Space Agency’s SETI project has announced today, via a Facebook post on his personal page, that he has decoded the repeating radio signal emanating from deep space.
“I’m sorry to have to tell everyone,” he begins the post, in which he confirms that the radio messages are being broadcast from a previously unknown alien civilisation, situated in the Furore Nebula (turn left after that massive planet lurking behind Pluto and keep going for 100m light years). He then goes on to state what the alien signal is telling us.
But controversy has immediately engulfed the professor after his world altering announcement and sadly meant no one is focusing on what the alien lifeforms are really telling us.
“He’s gone off and tried to get all the credit for himself. I’m not sure how early he got up today to do it?,” disgruntled colleague, Doctor Neutron tweeted after reading Quasar’s post, “this is singularitily one of the darkest events in my entire career. I’m not sure if our working relationship will escape it.”
Whether or not the controversy will prevent Professor Quasar winning the Nobel Prize for Astro-biology is anyone’s guess, or for that matter allow the impressive duo to carry on working together.
“It will if I have anything to do with it,” Doctor Neutron tweeted, “this is worse than the time he discovered the British moon landings were faked and had that article published in the Gruniad.”
But what does the message from deep space actually say?
“Make Space Great Again! Or MSGA (pronounced Ms Ga – for the record she denies any involvement),” Doctor Neutron explained, “oh, and the sentient creatures on Flaarg-Barst 9 are gonna build a wall around the Earth and we’re gonna pay for it!”
And based on recent events, who could blame them?