Brexit backing MPs asked “just tell us what they’re paying you and we’ll double it?”

A new fantastical remainer plot to THWART OUR BREXIT has been exposed today after a fictional, anonymous source claimed without any back up whatsoever that Brexit backing MPs have been asked, “just tell us what they’re paying you and we’ll double it?”

It’s believed the make believe attempt to get to the bottom of the motivations of MPs still backing Brexit, in spite of all evidence that it’s the most kamikaze political project since the last one, has finally gotten around to wondering, if, and by who, the MPs are being paid?

“It’s just speculation, but it could be worth spending the money to double the incentives,” our political figment of the imagination says,

“we don’t send £350m per week to Brussels, let’s use it to bribe, I mean, um, incentivise our MPs to stop Brexit instead?

“There must be an upper limit on the amount of cash overseas, dark money interests are willing to spend to destabilise the European project and reduce the EU to rubble, just so they can strip away its wealth, rule the ordinary man and woman in a return to indentured servitude, and profit off a revised arms trade in the European domestic market?”

There must be, but it’s probably a high total, given how fat the golden goose seems to the resurgent international conspiracy of far right, sociopathic billionaires utilising toxic nationalism and misdirection of fear and anger to fuel their coups.

“It couldn’t be that just too many MPs are currently too gutless to stand up and be counted,” our source mused, “blind to the realisation that this is one of those periods in modern history where elected representatives need to set aside narrow party interests, and selfish motivations, and put the many first, instead of the interests of the few ideologues who seek to trash the country and make it anew, in their own terrible image?”

No, it couldn’t be that. What else could it be?

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