LCD Views can announce great news for people worried that by the time the U.K. is done with Brexit (should it happen) sometime in 2069, and gets around to focusing on climate change it will be too bloody late anyway.
“Balderdash,” ERG leading light Mr F Wit told us, “we’re leading the world. The developed world at any rate. And of course thanks to the opportunities created by Brexit, we’ll soon be leading all of the developing world again too.”
But leading in what way?
“By destroying our auto-manufacturing sector firstly, clearly,” Mr F Wit, who has millions in overseas holdings shrugged, “then we’re going to clear out the aerospace industry. Oh, and coal mining is never coming back unless Old Corbs gets in, which he won’t, so mining is not going to be resuscitated. It’s all going really well. No reason the young people shouldn’t get right behind all of our aims, including bringing back corporal punishment for truancy.”
But that’s not the leadership they require? How does that tackle the challenges of the 21st century and the screaming ball of terror that is environmental destruction?
“We’re getting rid of our industries, what could possibly be more coherent and useful if you want to see carbon emissions, and other gases like cows farting, reduced quickly? Back to the soil. Hoe in hand for the mighty British! See those greenhouse gases plummet!”
So we’re sacrificing ourselves for the good of the planet?
“You could spin it that way. As long as I get to buy the last public utilities still owned by UK plc in the fire sale that follows Brexit with the massive amount of totally legally dodgy money I have piled up offshore I really couldn’t give a shit either way.”
Mr F. Wit, thank you for your time.
“Follow me kids! I’ll show you the way. You don’t need climate change targets when you aren’t capable anymore of impacting climate change in anyway by giving all the parts of your developed economy away!”